Guest blog: How Possibility Can Propel You in Love and Life

Today's article is provided by Sheryl Sitts, MPA, BA, a wonderful woman who helps others open to possibility in every aspect of life. Enjoy!

Every relationship we have, personal and professional, is created and maintained through communication.  Maybe that’s why it fascinates me so much!  From radio announcing to dysfunctional family reunions to mediating family disputes over everything from custody issues to who should get the family boat trailer, I’ve certainly had a fertile ground to observe and learn about human interaction.  It’s fascinating how quickly we can put aside a love we’ve worked hard to grow for years because we can’t get past which one of you is ‘right’.

One trick I particularly like when mediating a dispute where two people are clearly stuck in disagreement is to ask them to move so they are both sitting on the same side of the table.  Then, I place the problem out in the middle of the table and invite them to brainstorm every possible solution they can think of to the problem together.  What happens next is truly amazing.  Partnered together in a common purpose, they move past this-or-that into the realm of pure possibility.  What a magical place!

Sometimes we have internal disagreement with ourselves!  We hold onto belief systems that we were taught until they no longer serve us.  Sensing they don’t work anymore, we want to get rid of them but we were taught things can’t be any other way.  So, we keep doing what we’ve always done and hoping for a different outcome…the definition of insanity, right?  Instead, why not replace whatever is not working with, “I don’t know”.   Whenever we create a void, the Universe immediately sets about filling it.  So, by creating an empty space where that sabotaging belief once was, something else can now show up.  We have invited possibility into our lives again.

It is a bit discomforting at first to sit in the void in a relationship or even in a belief within ourselves.  All our insecurities and hidden fears show up.  However, if we can bring ourselves to simply observe them and let them pass without scrambling to do something and make that uneasy feeling stop, we will soon notice that it isn’t as bad as we feared.  In fact, as possibilities show up and expand our world and our relationships, we often find happiness.   I encourage you to invite possibility into your life in whatever areas you’ve been stuck.  Invite those you love to brainstorm and problem solve with you and discover the real power of collaboration while remembering the love that has been suffering the other way.  Here’s wishing you a life filled with peace, purpose, and passion…naturally!

Sheryl Sitts, MPA, BA is Founder and Chief Inspirational Officer for Journey of Possibilities.  Her own journey has led from corporate America to the Amazon of Peru with a shaman and subsequently on an intense two-year healing path to her current mission of empowering others to live with peace, purpose, and passion.  Her online holistic community features educational articles and forums where guests can ask questions and better understand holistic alternatives while meeting like-spirited individuals and product/service providers.  Sheryl consults with holistic professionals and nonprofits to improve their marketing (online and in person) and business practices to operate successfully and sustainably. Visit Sheryl online at http://www.journeyofpossibilities.com.

Allowing VS Controlling

Like many couples, my husband and I are opposites. He was predisposed to go with the flow, while I came out of the womb with a checklist in hand!  My urge to control comes in handy during a crisis, but at most other times, it actually creates a sense of crisis inside of me - one that my brain wants to resolve by trying to control even more.

My hubby and I are both authors and each of our books was published in September. Since then, Doug has continued to post to his blog and, while he would like more readers to post reviews of his book on Amazon, he's been very calm about the whole thing, trusting that if his fantasy novel is supposed to be successful, it will be.

I, on the other hand, have signed us up for marketing workshops, read books on how to publicize a book, and generally kept myself awake adding to my "To Do" list and knowing I can't possibly complete it. 

While Doug trusted fully, I trusted on a superficial level, 

but emotionally, physically and mentally 

I worried that I wasn't doing enough...

...and therefore, my book would not help the millions of people I believe it can help, and therefore, I would have wasted my life (a bit melodramatic, I know, but that's where my brain can take me in a nanosecond).  And oh, by the way, I'm exhausted. 

So, here's the thing: I teach that everything in our lives mirrors the core beliefs we hold about ourselves. My belief that I have to do/control has been mirrored to me in my physical, mental and emotional weariness and by very slow progress with responses to my marketing efforts (as far as I know). 
  
On the other hand, Doug's belief that his role is to facilitate or allow whatever is meant to be, has been mirrored to him beautifully in the past week.  Without him controlling anything, his book was selected by Barnes and Noble to be sold in stores, then the same day we heard that great news, he received a phone call from a blogger who had come across Doug's business card, on which he has his book cover and a QR code for the book.  The blogger was so taken by Doug's book cover that she visited his blog and she liked his blog so much, that she decided she wanted to read his book and write a blog about it!

Seeing my beloved engage with life as an Allower helps me to deepen my trust in the process.  This weekend, I put my Controller to bed and decided to focus on following my bliss from moment to moment. If I feel inspired to market my book, I will.  If I feel inspired to take a walk or nap, I will.  Today, I awoke to find 2 new 5 star reviews of my book posted to Amazon and a message from a reader who told me my book had changed her life. 

As soon as we change what's on the inside, 

life mirrors those changes on the outside.